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Four years ago today, I became a mamma for the very first time.

I still remember the first time I saw my baby girl (all covered in goop*) and instantly fell in love. I thought she was the most amazing thing I had ever seen.

It felt like such a miracle that she was here.

A couple of years earlier, I was in a car accident & my doctors where unsure as to whether or not I would be able to conceive a baby, let alone carry one around in my tummy for 9 months. I still remember sitting in a specialist’s office, waiting for him to tell me whether or not I was going to be able to have children of my own one day (it was the most anxious day of my life). Thankfully, everything was ok but he warned of the pain I was going to endure while pregnant. He also told me it would take some time for me to fall pregnant due to the enormous trauma my body had gone through, so not to get worried if it took awhile for it to happen.

In the new year, my (now) husband & I decided to start trying, with the hope that we would be pregnant before the end of that year. I remember taking the test the following month & thinking I must have done it wrong as it was showing a positive result! When my husband came home from work, I showed him the test & he agreed that I must have stuffed it up. A couple of days later I took another test & then another, four tests in total – all positive. We couldn’t believe that after just one month we were pregnant!

The next 7 months were a blur of vomiting, nausea & vomiting. Seriously, what’s up with that? Don’t us women go through enough. And why call it morning sickness, when it lasts all friggin day! Everytime my gyno told me that being sick for so long was the sign of a healthy baby, I felt like punching him in the face.

Thankfully, the pain didn’t really kick in till around the 6 month mark & by that stage the morning sickness was starting to ease, so I didn’t care, I was counting down the days till my due date. 

My gyno decided that it would be best to deliver my baby 2 weeks early to avoid me going in to labour, as I was physically unable to give birth naturally. One week before my scheduled c-section – I developed pre-eclampsia. A couple of days later I was in hospital preparing for the most life changing (& scary) moment of my life.

The surgery went well and I recovered quite quickly. I’ve heard some horror stories from women who’ve had c-sections (& also natural births) and I think I was one of the lucky ones. I also believe that the pain of the c-section was nothing compared to the pain I was in after my accident, so I think that helped me cope better.

So, as I sit here today writing this, I can see out of the corner of my eye, the most amazing little girl – my daughter Ruby and I feel like the luckiest mamma in the whole wide world!

* what’s up with the goop – i thought all babies came wrapped, clean and smelling of roses the first time you see them – well, that’s what happens on tv & in the movies, so I’d assumed it must happen in real life too :O